Hey, look, I made a list of stuff.
It’s like Buzzfeed but it won’t ruin your life.

Things people think are awesome that are really rubbish:

• Cars
• Drive with Ryan Gosling
• Cats (even small ones who are fresh out of a big one)
• Bestival
• You on your iPhone / iPad in the pub / on the train / IN GENERAL
• Breakfast in bed – crumbs man, just get up, are you sick or something?
• Making lists instead of actually writing a piece
• Sushi – I admit that Sushi might be awesome, but as a lover of sushi my sushi experiences invariably go like this
  – ooh I really fancy some sushi
  – wow 8 bucks for this small amount of sushi seems like a lot
  – Mmmm I love soy sauce
  – Mmmmm I love wasabi
  – WHY IS THIS SOFT RAW FISH FLESH IN MY MOUTH?
• Twitter
• Las Vegas (the back bacon of America)
• Bacon – bacon is now synonymous with dough-boy fraternity morons who think they’re funny. You’re not funny, and nor is bacon.
• The word ‘awesome’

Things people think are rubbish that are really awesome:

• Feminism
• Glasgow
• James Van Der Beek
• Municipal gyms
• The NHS
• Phones with buttons (token Louis CK link)
• Rioting
• Your 40’s (Jennifer Aniston said so on Oprah so it must be true)
• Trains
• Sherry (Tio Pepe motherfucker)
• Marriage
• this depressing as fuck list that I have to stop writing right now.
  Go on now, get back to work, there’s nothing else to see here.