
Author Archives: hilaryhazard


First World Problems
I can’t afford a cleaner or a gardener but I’m too busy to do cleaning or gardening.
My career is based on a fictional social construct and has provided me a set of non-transferable ‘skills’ which would render me completely pointless in the event of an apocalyptic return to the old days.

Glastonbaby
I went to Glastonbury this year, as a puppeteer. I’ve been before, on and off since 1997, when I was a skinny middle class white girl and didn’t notice that everyone else there was a skinny middle class white girl too.
This year I felt like Matthew McConaughey in Dazed and Confused – ‘I get older, the girls stay the same age.’

Get A Grip
By Anonymous
So, you think you’re fat?
You hate your midriff right?
You think all anyone sees is those wobbly bits?
You’re depressed because you were a skinny kid and now you’re growing up and your belly’s growing too.
Yeah well. Fuck you.
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Awesome Rubbish (and vice versa)
Hey, look, I made a list of stuff.
It’s like Buzzfeed but it won’t ruin your life.