Hey, look, I made a list of stuff.
It’s like Buzzfeed but it won’t ruin your life.
Things people think are awesome that are really rubbish:
- Drive with Ryan Gosling
- Cats (even small ones who are fresh out of a big one)
- You on your iPhone / iPad in the pub / on the train / IN GENERAL
- Breakfast in bed – crumbs man, just get up, are you sick or something?
- Making lists instead of actually writing a piece
- Sushi – I admit that Sushi might be awesome, but as a lover of sushi my sushi experiences invariably go like this
– ooh I really fancy some sushi
– wow 8 bucks for this small amount of sushi seems like a lot
– Mmmm I love soy sauce
– Mmmmm I love wasabi
– WHY IS THIS SOFT RAW FISH FLESH IN MY MOUTH?
- Las Vegas (the back bacon of America)
- Bacon – bacon is now synonymous with dough-boy fraternity morons who think they’re funny. You’re not funny, and nor is bacon.
- The word ‘awesome’
Things people think are rubbish that are really awesome:
- James Van Der Beek
- Municipal gyms
- The NHS
- Phones with buttons (token Louis CK link)
- Your 40’s (Jennifer Aniston said so on Oprah so it must be true)
- Sherry (Tio Pepe motherfucker)
- this depressing as fuck list that I have to stop writing right now.
Go on now, get back to work, there’s nothing else to see here.