Awesome Rubbish (and vice versa)

Hey, look, I made a list of stuff.
It’s like Buzzfeed but it won’t ruin your life.

Things people think are awesome that are really rubbish:

  • Cars
  • Drive with Ryan Gosling
  • Cats (even small ones who are fresh out of a big one)
  • Bestival
  • You on your iPhone / iPad in the pub / on the train / IN GENERAL
  • Breakfast in bed – crumbs man, just get up, are you sick or something?
  • Making lists instead of actually writing a piece
  • Sushi – I admit that Sushi might be awesome, but as a lover of sushi my sushi experiences invariably go like this
    – ooh I really fancy some sushi
    – wow 8 bucks for this small amount of sushi seems like a lot
    – Mmmm I love soy sauce
    – Mmmmm I love wasabi
    – WHY IS THIS SOFT RAW FISH FLESH IN MY MOUTH?
  • Twitter
  • Las Vegas (the back bacon of America)
  • Bacon – bacon is now synonymous with dough-boy fraternity morons who think they’re funny. You’re not funny, and nor is bacon.
  • The word ‘awesome’

Things people think are rubbish that are really awesome:

  • Feminism
  • Glasgow
  • James Van Der Beek
  • Municipal gyms
  • The NHS
  • Phones with buttons (token Louis CK link)
  • Rioting
  • Your 40’s (Jennifer Aniston said so on Oprah so it must be true)
  • Trains
  • Sherry (Tio Pepe motherfucker)
  • Marriage
  • this depressing as fuck list that I have to stop writing right now.
    Go on now, get back to work, there’s nothing else to see here.

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