Whoops, I Stole Your Boyfriend

By Gemma Parker

I was talking to a friend earlier, when this happened:

Her:    You’ll never guess what she said to me
Me:     What?
Her:    She said she fancied him and she’s seeing him next week
Me:     Ok. So?
Her:    Well don’t you think she’s an absolute bitch?
Me:     What? Why?
Her:    Because I’ve slept with him!
Me:     Wasn’t that like six years ago? And you said he was shit in bed and you weren’t going to see him again?
Her:    Yeah, so?
Me:     Didn’t you say you only slept with him because you were bored anyway
Her:    It was a shit party
Me:     Do you like him?
Her:    Well, I haven’t seen him for a couple of years. But that’s not the point!

Contrary to what you are probably thinking, I am not 15 years old. However, I am still as clueless about this conversation as I was back then. Don’t get me wrong I’m not prowling the streets of London to find men who are taken (frankly, I don’t have time), but why do women own the rights to a man after they have looked at them/fancied them/slept with them/kissed them ONCE? Does anyone remember that line in Mean Girls
“Irregardless, ex-boyfriends are just off limits to friends. I mean that’s just like the rules of feminism”.

That was meant as a joke. A joke. What is the ‘point’ my friend was making, and which I have heard repeated countless times in conversations with women? We can all agree that hurting someone’s feelings deliberately is a shitty thing to do, but if someone doesn’t give a shit then why is this out of line?
Discuss something useful and stop wasting my time, when she fucks your husband we’ll talk.

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